RIP Church Street

Some very sad news. Today marks the final weekend of Church Street Station as we know it.



The money grubbers that own this wonderous waterhole that had given us our fondest and best memories of Miami, have decided to tear it down and put up shiteous apartments and a "new" bar in its place. Probably a trendy bar. Probably a bar with $16 drinks and cutesy tables that don't fall over or clash with the overall decor of the place. Disgusting.

We noticed a few subtle changes in the Church when we were back for Blugunion - new decor and accoutrement, some newfangly digital jukebox that had current music, and a new cast of bartenders that actually charged us for our drinks. No $6 tabs today.

I think it is safe to say that our best memories of College were at the church. I present to you, for your consideration, ten moments that defined church street and our experience with the most glorious bar in our existence.

10. Melissa showing up at the bar on Geek week in only a robe (sans pants) and dancing on the picnic table
9. Karla walking in teary eyed, post breakup (with a guy who's name will shall not blog post) and our retaliation of beating every single photohunt score to post his name along with "has a little D" and other in the top 10 scores
8. When crazy brandon punched through the TV
7. Bartenders and subsequent hookups & friendships with said bartenders (Brian the bouncer, Jack the snack, Jake the snake, etc)
6. Dan Palace
5. Erotic photohunt
4. The Jamie Frankel/Homeplate incident and subsequent drenching
3. When we had the Blue Lagoon picture on the wall for several days until someone stole it
2. Anytime anyone forgot to close their tab and the following repercussions
1. Anything and everything on Geek Week Day

Appearing in Cleveland Newstands - Cat Fashion Show 2008

Kat Brillo-Head Johnson the Chicago born, Cleveland living socialite is gracing all the hottest pages this month, including "Clean with Body Parts Monthly" and "Creative Ways to Organize your Junk Drawer" by Martha Stuart. She is singlehandedly trying to orgainze the movement "Purple is the New Red this Holiday Season." She is pictured here with Katy Perry (making a statement on recycling tp to stay green) and a super-tan Perez Hilton minus 20 lbs.

Think before losing your cellphone again...

http://denver.craigslist.org/mis/878440900.html

The Legend of O'Leachy McGreenteeth: The Dream-Stealing Leprechaun

The Legend of O'Leachy McGreenteeth: The Dream-Stealing Leprechaun

a typical chain letter forwarded by Kristy Alderson.

Once upon a time, along the sing-song Ivory Coast of Ireland lived a delightful little girl with golden hair kissed by sunshine named Penny O' Giggles. Penny skipped on the way to school every morning and gave all of her allowance to the homeless people along her merry way to class. The locals nicknamed her St. Penny for her kind gestures and the fact that when she sang, her voice sounded like the sweet mix of a nightingale and a young Rod Stewart. One day she decided to skip along the coast of the magical Blarney River in her town. Along this magical river grew shamrocks as big as grapefruit that tasted like skittles and laughter. She was gathering shamrocks by the coast to make a necklace for her dying grandma's last wish, when suddenly a bottle with a scroll inside washed upon the shore. Penny opened the bottle and star dust blew into the wind as she unraveled the scroll. The scroll read:

" Skip a little, hop a lot in the land of Ireland there was a legend and tall-tale it is not,

The one who reads this magical and true tale, is blessed with ever-lasting luck if they do not fail,

Though leprechauns can be sprite and green, they are very short and sometimes bitter and mean,
The leprechaun O'Leachy McGreenteeth, torn like Lilo as a coke-head and of a sweet little tween,

As a child O’Leachy would eat green shamrocks, his parents said it would make him grow long golden locks,

He did his chores and prayed at night, but something started to develop that cause quite the fright,

The shamrocks he ate were turning his teeth green, even Dr. O'Chucklestooth couldn't scrub them clean,

The kids at scool would laugh and tease, forced to sit with the Asian nerds O' Leachy was not pleased,

He vowed from that day and started a curse, if you discarded his message your luck would turn worse.

To spread leprechaun love and recognize their power, and forward this to 5,000 people within the next hour,

If you do so your luck has no end, if you disregard this you would be lucky to call Tara Reid your friend,

Don't ignore this message I warn you I MUST, nothing will save you, not even Tink Pixie Dust!!"

Little Penny O'Giggles stopped and thought long and hard about the message from O'Leachy. She thought about sending the message on to her friends at school, but realized it was only 1862 and the internet had not yet been invented by Al Gore. Penny O'Giggles was the best skipper in 3 villages but couldn't possibly skip THAT fast. So instead of sending on the message as warned, she bottled back up the scroll and flung it back into the magical Blarney River. She continued gathering shamrocks and razzleberries to bring to her old sweet Grannie's deathbed.......

The next morning little St. Penny woke up and instead on hearing the sweet hum of songbirds and cheery chipmunks, she awoke to the blasting sound of Metallica's Enter Sandman. She covered her ears and skipped down the hall to peer inside her sweet Grannie's room...when inside she saw a horrifying sight.... her Grandma was entangled in hot mess of love between the 1980's popular big hair band Motley Crue wearing Happy Gilmore's grandmothers Gene Simmons mask and cursing the Irish.

If you understand the severity of this email you WILL forward this message on to 5,000 people with in the next hour...or the following will happen to YOU due to the curse of O'Leachy McGreenteeth:

1) You will start loving Ashton Kutcher movies.

2) All of your dreams and hopes are stolen in your slumber, and sold on the black-market.

3) Time will reverse and you will see Mickey Mouse take off his costume at Disney World as a child.

4) No one will ever cure AIDS. ever.

5) George W will become president again.

6) Tim Gunn will never ask you to eat at Red Lobster.

7) You start spelling refrigerator as refridgorator.

8) You only get a bid to A D Pi.

9) You are condemned to a lifetime of serving at Waffle House in Wamilton

10) Everytime you see a puppy, you will unknowingly kick it.

11) Jamie Frankel sleeps in your bed every night.

12) Your breathe smells like licking the downstairs bathtub at Blue Lagoon.

13) Razors stop shaving your armpits.

14) The only company that will hire you is as a character on The Wiggles.

15) All of your friends and family dis-own you like a Elizbeth Hasselback on The View.

Send this to everyone you care about. Send this to everyone you don't care about. Send this to dsitant cousins of your mothers college roomate's twin deaf brother. Send this to yellow, green and purple peopleeaters. I BEG of you.....SEND THIS ON.... or else.....

**Side note, if you do manage to do this lofty task, the Prince of Persia will send you $1 million dollars.

did you say... BOOKED?!?!?

lookin' good kath