Part Trois (see I speak French)

=

kristajones'd (christa-not- i-saffed): to create the perfect combination of mexican food, cocktails, laxatives, and anorexia to discharge from the anus an explicable amount of party punch in random dude's house; to ruin one's public image for life; the crap heard 'round the world. (intransitive verb)

• Etymology: Latin defaecatus, past participle of defaecare; to discharge feces from the bowels; to never hook up with a frat star again.
• Example: "I don't know if I can make it to Church right now...that El Burrit's didn't settle well and I don't want to kristajones all over my hot greek life reputation."

Lagoon Lexicon: Part Deux

• Wamilton (wah-mill-ton): a place where the term "higher education" is stretch at best; place to avoid French Class and generally encourage slacker tendencies (noun)

• Etymology: Latin, from Greek Hamilton: home of the dental avoiding, chain-smoking hillbilly; Hammy.
• Example - "I just tried to "aller francais" in Wamilton but Church St. and cigarettes got in the way."

Lagoon Lexicon - Part One

During our two years at the Lagoon, we came up with some nitche phrases for specific situations.

However, we got too comfortable with our slang, and when we attempted to use these words in the outside world during everyday conversation, people looked at us like we were Tom Cruise crazy.

So I felt the need to relive and bring back those words and phrases that made the Lagoon so great...I give you: The Lagoon Lexion (Part 1)

ury: really exceptionally angry or annoyed; furious. (adjective)

• Origin - originally from the word "furious", which then became "Ury the Fury", which was then shortened to just "ury"


• Example - "I just tried to get late night at Jimmy Johns and they were closed - omg I am sooo ury."
  

sigmachi: (sigMAHchee) Kind of chachi, alpha male who likes to weightlift, wear tight shirts, and just be super-meaty all day long; Throws kegs off of things like houses; likes kreotine; Dan Palace

• Origin - Sigma Chi Alpha Chapter at Miami University; person does not have to be a Sigma Chi, but can just display sigmachi-like behaviors


• Example - "He's really cute, but just super sigmachi."

Thats all for now! More words to come in the next edition. Please comment and give other examples of situations that would use ury and sigmachi, my brain is fried :)

USA USA USA

"blagunion: a festival of cougars"

The Story of Maltini and KatrinaRita

When: July 1, 2008

Where: GChat (where professional slackers unite)

Why: Because we love you.

How: the Internet (it's a powerful tool)

(This is the real conversation during a 9-5 business day...)

me: what are you doing for your bday???????
Kat: :( I'm a loser
me: i'll say
Kat: everyone is like, out of town... Sooo Chris is taking me on a surprise date (meaning I don't know where yet) and then we are going to go out with some people and booze it up.
me: Chili's.
Kat: haha he'd never
me: i blew it
Kat: haha. You were close....applebees
me: i secretly love all of those places...especially Friday's.
Kat: hahah oh i know i always hit them up on business trips when i have to get dinner
me: i love apps with buzz words

me: 'zesty spicy jalapeno poppin fun"
Kat: or Tangy sweet barbeque fun platter
me: i also expect 17 cherries in my drink

Kat: always...and 90% is always mixer
me: or a Kahlua Cream Frozen Rita Riot!
Kat: 10% alcohol max...omg are you one the website or are you making these up?
me: i made that up

Kat: if I go on friday's website right now and thats on there, you are such a cheater
me: i swear to god...i swear on Bob Barker's tanning bed
Kat: hahaha...how about Raspberry Razzle summertime weekend schpritzer? i'm not very good at this

me: no that was good. you need more flare though
Kat: i know. pop and zing
me: Lemon Lime Electric Lemonade Marga-tini!
Kat: Ultimate Mango Earthquake margarita

Kat: they like natural disasters in their drinks
me: St Pat's Whiskey Shamrock Shooters
(those are shots)
Kat: Blue Tsunami wave rush-tini...Blazing baby back fire ribs
(those are ribs)....Humongo Hurricane Lime-ita
think natural disaster. It comes easier.... Katrina Margarita
me: yep, you went there.

me: what about mega turbo extreme redbull rippers?
Kat: ok i gtg to softball
me: if someone were to read our entire conversation spanning over the course of today...
me: we'd a) get fired b) get drug tested
Kat: c) Get hired by perez to help him blog and make fun of celebs with our witty banter
Kat: that actualy sounds like an enjoyable outcome, sans the drug testing part
me: eh, i would questionably pass
Kat: bye MalTini.

me: bye KatrinaRita.

Hello!

Hello my lovely ladies! After getting very bored exchanging witty banter over gchat, Mal and I decided it was time to set up a blog. So here we are.


We give you...Blue-La-Blog.



Think of it as Perez meets Lois-the-old-drunk-lady at Church St, they have a baby and this blog is birthed. That should give you a good feeling of where we're headed.

This will allow Mal and I to make you laugh so hard you possibly pee your pants in your rolly work chair. It will also allow Christa to provide more depth into her "Things that Annoy Me" rants, as gchat status has a not-so-flexible character limit.

Other topics that will be discussed in upcoming posts:

• Blugunion/Cougarfest 2008


• Operation Lagoon (the resurrection of our house sign)


• The Fact that Colleen is now a second year law student


• Pants


• The Resurrection of B. Spears


• C-Prompt


• The story behind Rita and Tini

So I thank you all for visiting, and hope you all are excited for the greatness that is to come. Bring your green hat.

xoxo

Rita